Why your team isn't feeling supported, no matter how much support you give.

If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard “I don’t feel supported,” or "my team isn't feeling supported," I could fund an entire mentorship program.

Half the clinicians I coach feel this, but let’s focus on graduates, where frustration often hits hardest.

Grads feel unsupported. Leaders feel they're bending over backwards to be supportive. Both end up frustrated.

Everyone’s doing their best, and still missing each other.

I recently coached a grad who’d told me for months everything was fine. She thrived, asked for help when needed, and thought she was confident.

Then one month: “No one is supporting me.”

Her challenges had grown, her confidence dipped, and she wanted more guidance. Totally valid, but she hadn’t said anything. She expected support to change automatically.

The practice hadn’t failed her, the communication loop had.

The “Support Gap” Problem

Frustration isn’t about how much support exists, it’s about the gap between expectation and experience.

A grad expects daily check-ins but gets weekly ones.

A leader expects independence but the grad wanted close supervision.

Neither side is wrong. They’re just misaligned.

Stop saying “support”; say what you mean

• Instead of: “We offer a supportive workplace”

  • Try: “In your first month, you’ll have daily check-ins and supervised surgeries. By month three, weekly reviews and gradual autonomy.”

• Instead of: “I need more support”

  • Try: “Can we debrief for 10 minutes after surgeries?” Or: “I’d like to run consults solo but know you’re nearby for backup.”

That’s how you close the expectation gap.

Support vs. Discomfort

Sometimes “unsupported” just means uncomfortable. Growth feels uncomfortable. Being challenged isn’t the same as being abandoned. Mislabeling it leads to burnout for the wrong reasons.

The fix isn’t more mentoring; it’s clearer communication.

Grads need to learn how to articulate what support helps them most, and ask for what they need. Leaders need to be transparent and flexible about what they can offer.

That’s what a truly supportive culture looks like: not “we care,” but “we’re clear.”