Making hard decisions - and living with them...

For years, I was the sole decision-maker for thousands of lives every year. Signing off on euthanasias, deciding who we could fit in the shelter, what corners we'd have to cut to be able to do any good at all, what staff we would need to let go to keep the lights on. Solely making hard decisions.

And that was before anyone weighed in on the outcome. Social media, internal staff, or even once being attacked while walking my dog at the beach. “You enjoy playing god.” “You don’t care about animals.” “You're in this for the money.” "We're all just numbers to you."

The accusations stung, especially when you'd spent hours and sleepless nights with the decision.

Leadership teaches you quickly: there is no perfect decision. There is only the best decision you can make with the information, ethics, and constraints you face right now. "Good decisions" are a rare luxury; there's usually only least-bad choices.

Many leadership theories offer models - analytical, consultative, intuitive - but none shield you from the gut punch of doubt, the decision fatigue, or the hurt of being judged for them.

The real challenge? Living with the consequences...

Here’s what helped me:

• Trust your process. Know WHY and HOW you chose what you did; what principles or facts guided you. That clarity is your anchor. Because after the fact, when the dust has settled and you're grappling with regret, being able to remember WHY is important.

• Write down the pros and cons/risks/worst case scenario of each decision (this is obvious) but KEEP IT is the less obvious step. Because if the direction you choose does end badly, and worst case risks come to fruition, it's easy to look back and compare to the best case scenario of the alternative you didn't choose. If we're going to compare afterwards (which we shouldn't, but probably will anyway), we need to be comparing the current outcome to the worst version of the alternative too.

• Set boundaries around debate. Feedback is gold, but endless debate is draining. Decide when it’s time to move forward.

• Invite questions about process, not intent. "I'm happy to talk through how I came to this decision" is a different offer to "I'm happy to talk about my decision."

• Avoid the justification trap. Explaining how and why you made the call is important, but once done, you don't need to defend your position.

• Separate emotions from outcomes. Criticism will come, often unfairly. Don’t confuse emotional attacks with the quality of your decision.

• Build a support circle. Trusted peers or mentors who understand your context can help you process fallout without sinking.

• Learn without drowning. Reflect on decisions to grow but avoid paralysis by analysis.

You can’t make everyone happy. You can’t avoid the weight of our roles. But you can carry it with integrity and strength.

Leadership isn't about getting everything right; it’s the courage to decide, accept consequences, and keep going despite the noise.